The OWA Talks Podcast officially launched in 2020 — after over three years, co-hosts Dr. Sandra Mohr and Stephanie Espinosa are ‘retiring’ and handing the hosting duties to new showrunners Carissa Dunphy and Tatiana Stewart! In a special episode of OWA Talks, launching on Tuesday, August 29, you’ll hear from both the departing and incoming co-hosts, as the baton is passed. Sandra and Stephanie will share insider information about how the podcast got started and why they had to pivot the entire focus of the show. They also discuss sentiments on their favorite episodes and guests, lessons learned, and their favorite OWA memories. They round out their reminiscing by recognizing those who have been instrumental in the success of the show and by sharing what’s next in their careers. “On behalf of the Optical Women’s Association, we extend our heartfelt gratitude to Sandra and Stephanie, who created OWA Talks as a way to offer our members more convenient and flexible ways to stay connected during the pandemic,” said Deb Bulken, OWA President. “We’re also thrilled to introduce Carissa and Tatiana as the dynamic new hosts who will usher the podcast into its next phase with fresh energy, new perspectives, new guests, and engaging content that is sure to inspire and engage.” During the special transition episode of OWA Talks, Carissa and Tatiana will share about why they joined the OWA and their favorite memory thus far from being a member. You will also learn about a new segment they will be introducing to the podcast, and hear their answers as the ‘guests’. Meet The New Hosts Carissa Dunphy, ABOC, is a Marketing Specialist at Professional Eye Care Associates of America (PECAA) where she promotes the business needs for more than 12,000 independent eye care professionals nationwide. Carissa has passionately worked in the independent ECP space since 2008, and founded Optician Now, which provides educational resources and optical expertise for opticians. As the Vice-Chair of the OWA’s Communications and Website Committee, and now the OWA Talks co-host, she is thrilled to further contribute to the future growth and collaboration within the industry. Tatiana Stewart is the Public Relations Supervisor at VSP Vision, where she leads the organization’s Public Relations Team and sets media strategies that will enhance VSP Vision’s brand presence and strengthen its position as a national leader in health-focused eye care. With 15 years’ experience coaching and training executives and C-suite leaders on how to work with and communicate with the press corps, Tatiana makes a great addition to the OWA Talks Podcast. She has a passion for storytelling and a reporter’s curiosity. As co-host she looks forward to asking the right questions to learn the things OWA members want to know from some of the optical industry’s top leaders. Read more about the new co-hosts of OWA Talks, Carissa Dunphy and Tatiana Stewart here. Listen To OWA Talks OWA Talks publishes a new episode on the last Tuesday of each month. Tune in this Tuesday, August 29 for this special episode — listen and subscribe here: OWA Website iTunes Google Play Buzzsprout RSS Feed

Vision Expo West in Las Vegas is just around the corner! The OWA is hosting 2 events during the conference. We welcome everyone to join us to network with your colleagues and learn more about what the OWA has to offer. Register Now for Vision Expo West! OWA Members can register for free plus receive 15% off education (excluding Total Office Packages) using this code: OWA23. The OWA greatly appreciates its partnership with International Vision Expo, who generously provide space and numerous other considerations for our events. Connection Series Luncheon: The RALLY Mentality Date: Thursday, September 28, 2023 Time: 12:00 p.m. – 1:30 p.m. PST Location: Venetian Level 3 — Murano, Room 3304 Join us for another memorable Connection Series luncheon as we welcome guest speaker Shannon McKain. Shannon’s five-step “RALLY Mentality” plan can help anyone define and defeat perceived limitations, whether self-imposed or the result of circumstances. Sponsored by VSP Vision, this energetic, highly interactive keynote will guide you in assessing where you are, what hurdles are blocking your way, and how to effectively overcome them to achieve your personal and professional goals. Everyone is welcome, including non-members, but advanced registration is required.  Capacity is limited, so sign up now. Registration Deadline:  Friday, September 15, 2023 RSVP HERE Networking Reception, Raffle, and Silent Auction Date: Friday, September 29, 2023 Time: 5:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. PST Location: Venetian Level 3 — Murano, Room 3304 Enjoy hors d’oeuvres and cocktails while networking with friends! Back by popular demand is our online auction with mobile bidding, alongside our traditional raffle, offering designer items, travel packages, gift certificates, and much more. All proceeds go to Professional Development Programs. Watch this page and your inbox for more information about the silent auction. EyeMed Vision Care is proud to sponsor the evening’s refreshments. Everyone is welcome, including non-members, but advanced registration is required. Capacity is limited, so sign up now. Registration Deadline:  Friday, September 15, 2023 RSVP HERE Article written by Tracy Neal

I first heard about peer coaching during an Employee Resource Group (ERG) book club that I joined earlier this year. It popped up in our summer book selection How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back From Your Next Raise, Promotion, or Job, by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith. I was instantly intrigued. What was peer coaching? Why did people do it? Would it work for me? How could I get started? After dipping my toes into peer coaching, I’m here to share the answers I’ve found so that you too can benefit from this incredible professional development opportunity. What is peer coaching? Put simply, peer coaching is when two friends or colleagues, roughly at the same level, meet regularly to discuss their goals, successes, and challenges. Although it’s similar to mentorship, peer coaching focuses more on mutual support in peer-to-peer relationships rather than an experienced colleague providing advice and opportunities. Peer coaching can be a formal program hosted by your organization, or it can be two (or more) people who agree to set regular meetings for advice, accountability, and setting goals. You can even use peer coaching on a personal level with friends. Why do people sign up for peer coaching? If you’re big into self-development like me, the question is always why. Why should I do this? For peer coaching, the answer is simple: it gives both parties the opportunity to reflect on their current behaviors, give and receive constructive feedback, and build new skills and refine old ones. In the words of my mentor, peer coaching gives you a safe space to practice hitting the ground (and learning from it). But there’s also broader benefits for your team and organization: Higher employee engagement More collaboration and camaraderie Improved communication across teams Accelerated learning and growth Did it work for me? Yes! For me, peer coaching came in the form of the ERG, with a close-knit group of women who met monthly. I decided to test it out with the goal of improving my confidence with public speaking. Like many people, I get nervous speaking in front of a crowd, whether that’s virtually, in-person, or a hybrid environment. My hands shake, my mind races, and I worry about tripping over my words. From experience, I knew this ERG was a safe place to be vulnerable with colleagues and practice my public speaking skills. And it worked! I shared my fears and challenges with two close colleagues who offered advice, encouragement, and real-time coaching to disrupt my typical thought process and behaviors. How do you get started? Getting started with a peer coach is much easier than tracking down someone to be a mentor. Here are the steps that I recommend: Identify 1-2 behaviors or skills that you’d like to build or improve on. It’s best to start small. Create a list of questions your partner can ask you. These questions can focus on specific behaviors or situations (ex. “How did I do during that big presentation?”) or they can be more general (i.e., “What successes or challenges have you faced since we last met?”). You can keep the same questions all year (like Marshall Goldsmith), or you can adjust it as often as you need (like Sally Helegesen). Choose a peer partner. This should be someone you feel comfortable opening up to, whose opinion you value, and who can look out for your best interest. And vice versa. Discuss what you’d like to get out of peer coaching, including how frequently you want to meet and your expectations, goals, and challenges. Stick to your schedule and report your progress. Even if this is an informal coffee chat, treat these like scheduled meetings and don’t let them slip off your calendar. Go in ready to share and discuss your goals and challenges since you last met. Remember that it goes both ways. When it’s your partner’s turn, it’s important for you to listen more than you speak. Follow-up. Between meetings, check in with your partner. After all, peer coaching is all about sharing ideas and solving challenges together. Whether you’re looking for additional support, to learn or develop new skills, or just an accountability buddy to disrupt your normal patterns of behavior, a peer coach can help. Article written by Robyn Campbell

In 2010, when I first learned I was pregnant, I had strong concerns that parenthood would affect my job security and prospects for a successful career. Would I be considered as capable as I was before? Would I continue to grow in leadership? Now, as a mom of two (10 & 13, whew!) I can tell you that motherhood brings a set of skills and experiences that translate into any role. Motherhood can actually help your career. Today, the workplace is designed with a focus on productivity, adaptability, and continuous improvement. Fortunately, many of the soft skills required to excel in that environment are the same skills that successful mothers exercise regularly. Making Things Happen Mothers are great multi-taskers and develop better time management skills over time. Not only are we taking care of our own needs (groceries, bills, hygiene) but we must ensure that our children are taken care of. That added responsibility forces mothers to compartmentalize the work that needs to get done in comparison to the energy we have available. We keep checklists, make schedules, block our time, and, most importantly, communicate. If there is a task with a dependency, (packing a lunch or a backpack before leaving for school), we track it and provide reminders. Sometimes hundreds of times a day. The list of things we can check off in a day is astounding. And the more we do it, the more it becomes a routine and the better we get at it. “Motherhood is wonderful, but it’s also hard work. It’s the logistics more than anything. You discover you have reserves of energy you didn’t know you had.” —Deborah Mailman This translates well in the workplace because we can compartmentalize the work that needs to get done, create a plan and execute it. Interruptions and changing priorities are easier to manage because we have become accustomed to the organized chaos that comes with raising children. Adding skills like “organization”, “time-management” and “communication” to our resumes is a no-brainer because it’s what get’s us through every single day. Adapting To Every Situation Working can be stressful. Long hours, a heavy workload, and changing situations can all impact our emotions and how we deal with challenges. The ability to deal with frustration, engage in patience and interact with others respectfully is incredibly important. This is a learned skill and parenthood brings with it a limitless supply of frustrating situations to help you practice. Sometimes it’s a temper tantrum that makes us want to lose our minds or a tough math question we don’t even remember learning or a call from the school that our kid is being bullied. When these situations happen regularly (and they certainly do!), it forces us to learn to keep our emotions in check so that we can respond appropriately and effectively. We learn to take a breath, be intentional and interact with our kids with patience. We consider their age, the circumstance, and what they’re feeling at that moment when we’re choosing how to respond. “That’s the wonderful thing about mothers: you can because you must, and you just do.” — Kate Winslet These skills of patience, empathy, and self-control are game-changers in the workforce. The concept of situational responses is the core of many jobs interview questions. This is because the ability to manage our emotions and approach situations with a learning mindset enables safe, inclusive, and engaged working teams. It also ensures that as situations change, we can apply different techniques for a successful outcome. Learning New Things The things I knew as a mom of a newborn are drastically different than what I now know as a mom of a teenager. To think, only 13 years ago I was learning how to change a diaper and reading books on potty training. Now I do google searches for how to put parental controls on a phone. Not to mention revisiting my high school history books to help my daughter with her Egyptian history paper or my son with his shoebox model of a rainforest.  There is no “it’s not my job” mentality because, honestly, it is. It’s my responsibility to put in the effort to learn and support my children in an ever-changing environment. Their needs change and I must keep up. This is no different from keeping pace in our optical work environments. Every day there are new regulations, new technologies, and new industry leaders that may impact how we conduct business. We ask ourselves; Is there another way this can be done? Am I meeting my customer’s needs? What is happening in the future that might impact me and my business? As mothers, we are already in a continuous learning mindset so translating that mindset into our work environment enables us to cultivate our curiosity and be change ready. “[As a mother] you go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible—oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.” —Tina Fey What This Means For You Motherhood does not take away from your potential in the workplace, it makes you a better employee and leader. So proudly proclaim the skills you have gained when updating your resume or sitting through an interview. While you’re at it, be sure to build up your fellow mothers; we all need a reminder of our value occasionally. Looking to make a change? Visit the OWA Job Board for opportunities in our network. “For me, being a mother made me a better professional, because coming home every night to my girls reminded me what I was working for. And being a professional made me a better mother, because by pursuing my dreams, I was modeling for my girls how to pursue their dreams.” – Michelle Obama Soft Skills to add to your resume Time Management Organization Communication Adaptability Situational Leadership Ensuring Accountability Perseverance Courage Curiosity Nimble Learner Coaching & Feedback Written by: Holly Gough

Debuting at Vision Expo West 2023, the OWA has released a NEW official OWA t-shirt for members, sponsors, individual contributors, and supporters alike. The previous design was on a white shirt, whereas the new design is available on a black shirt. Both shirt options are a women’s jersey t-shirt that features a crew neck, short sleeves, and a contemporary, slightly looser fit for effortless style. Made from super-soft 100% Airlume eco-friendly pre-shrunk cotton, the shirts feel amazing all day long! GET A SHIRT Proceeds from merchandise sales will go towards OWA programs. Purchase a shirt today to rep your passion for the OWA. Wear Your Support for the OWA with New Merch!

Many may find they experience a change in mood and energy levels as the days grow shorter and the temperature goes lower.  This seasonal affective disorder (also referred to as seasonal depression) is appropriately abbreviated, SAD!  Loss of daylight during the winter months can trigger feelings of sadness, lethargy, and a lack of motivation. In this blog, we’ll uncover methods to help manage SAD by maintaining a healthy lifestyle, practicing self-care, and staying socially active. It’s important to understand what causes seasonal depression. SAD is a type of depression that occurs during specific seasons — more prevalent in the winter.  It is believed that the reduced sunlight affects the brain’s chemicals, such as serotonin and melatonin, both of which regulate mood and sleep patterns. A healthy lifestyle plays a significant role in managing mental health in any season. Regular exercise helps to release endorphins, improves mood, and helps increase energy levels. I know that when I’m driving home at 6pm and it’s dark outside, the last thing I want to do is go to a crowded gym!  However, I know I will feel much better afterwards (It also helps to pack my gym bag the night before and leave it in the car for the next day). Of course, listen to your body and rest when you need it — rest is important! It is essential to set aside time to do things that make YOU happy and help you to unwind. Practicing self-care can promote relaxation and reduce stress, and self-care can take many forms — meditation, reading and taking a walk are all great places to start.  Treat yourself to a home spa day or take pleasure in your favorite hobby or creative outlet!  Self-care may also look like organizing your closet to donate clothing you promised yourself you’d wear at some point. The limit does not exist! While time alone is good, it is vital to maintain social connections while combating seasonal depression. Facetime or phoning a friend is a great way to stay connected (especially if you don’t want to deal with harsh winter conditions). This could also be a great time to try out new or different indoor activities! Maybe this is the time to try a painting class or a new workout class with your friend; maybe you just want to grab a coffee and catch up — anything that will remind you that you are not alone. Seasonal depression can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can effectively manage its symptoms and learn to embrace the winter weather. Remember to consult a healthcare professional if your symptoms persist or worsen. Article written by Lindsay Romah

In mid-October, around three dozen OWA members gathered for a sunny weekend at Paradise Point Resort in San Diego for an uplifting and inspiring experience: the inaugural OWA Unplugged Retreat. A labor of love spearheaded by the OWA’s Connection & Enrichment committee and powered this year by ClearVision Optical, I feel fortunate to have been part of the group of women in the “Class of 2023” of the OWA retreat—a remarkable first for this amazing organization. View the full hi-res gallery from the OWA Unplugged Retreat As hard workers—both in our professional and personal lives—it can seem nearly impossible to fully unplug. This was made evident by the fact that I could not resist working throughout the entire six-hour flight to San Diego. I’m sure many others in attendance can relate. But when we all started to gather in-person at the retreat, it became so apparent that true, genuine connection blooms in spaces where we are not distracted by our phones or our inboxes, where we are not defined by our professional titles, and where we are not stressing over our never-ending to-do lists. By disconnecting from the outside noise, we connected with each other. “This weekend was better than we could have ever planned,” says Kathy Cruz of the OWA’s Connection & Enrichment committee. “We shared a weekend of laughter, tears, meals, vulnerability, stories, hugs, and our passion as a group of powerful women. We built a sisterhood that will last a lifetime.” From an in-person fireside chat on the beach to morning yoga to getting some time on the water on paddleboards, the retreat left me feeling lucky to be a part of this industry—and even luckier to be a part of the OWA. The LinkedIn requests, texts, and emails from the women on the retreat are all a heartwarming reminder that we didn’t leave the feeling of comradery behind in San Diego. A shoutout to Beverly Bianes, O.D, who thoughtfully remembered my (and the group’s!) infatuation with her homemade chocolate chip cookies, that she sent me a text a few days following OWA Unplugged of her handwritten, homemade recipe—putting the “treat” in retreat. View the full hi-res gallery from the OWA Unplugged Retreat Article written by Kerri Ann Raimo

Hiring the perfect team member can be a time-consuming and daunting task that can significantly impact your company’s success. Let’s look at some strategies to help identify and hire the ideal candidate for your team. The first step is to have a captivating and detailed job description to attract the candidate you are looking for. You will want to write a job description that clearly outlines the responsibilities but also touches on skills that the applicant should possess. For example, consider technical skills along with communication, adaptability, and teamwork skills. Remember, this is often the applicant’s first introduction to the position and possibly your company. Advertise the position on various platforms. This gives you a bigger pool of people — social media, job boards, career websites, referrals, and in-house recruiting. Diverse platforms increase your chances of finding the “perfect” fit. Select the best candidates to pass along to the interview process. You can conduct a brief phone interview to help eliminate incompatible applicants. Review your interview process. Have more than one person part of the interview process, such as someone from HR and the manager the new hire will report to. Interview questions: User behavior-based interviewing questions. This involves asking candidates to describe how they would handle specific challenges from previous positions.  You can also provide them with a scenario and ask how they would manage it. Ask the candidate what they are looking for in an employer — maybe they want opportunities for advancement, and knowing you are a small company, advancement may not be an option until a way down the road. Make sure your candidate’s goals align with your company’s goals. Once interviews are completed, conduct a hiring meeting to review the interviewer’s thoughts on each of the candidates. The process of hiring the perfect team member requires a clear vision of what your company’s needs are and a well-structured hiring process; Incorporating these steps into your hiring process will help you find the right team member who will contribute to your company’s success. Written by Tracy Neal

Soon enough, the gifting season will once again be upon us! Small tokens of gratitude will be carefully, sometimes even exasperatingly, thought out for the postal carrier, favorite barista, or local butcher. In the eyecare business, connections to new partner companies can happen daily, and established friendships with longtime business partners are strengthened almost equally. For established employees, outside company representatives are a given. For newer business partner connections, the holiday season brings us many different emotions and challenges, both professional and personal—truly a case of the good, the bad and the ugly! The Good It’s true that there is something about the holiday season that fosters a genuine sense of harmony and puts many in a generous mood. Many people are great at listening closely during exchanges with their outside vendor reps and noting their hobbies, music or television favorites, food or drink preferences, and if the rep may be a pet owner. These tidbits of information pave the way to a small gift that will not only be a surprise but even more appreciated and memorable because the gift was tailored to the recipient. I keep a log of my outside vendor reps and note many of these categories, as well as what was given the year before. I follow my mother’s advice on gift-giving: it is tacky to give the same gift to a person two years in a row unless the recipient has hinted they’d enjoy the same gift again. The Bad Gift giving in a corporate setting has strict rules and regulations that must be followed to avoid disciplinary actions and, potentially, fines. Even if you are not in a corporate setting, it’s best to err on the side of caution and consult with your department manager or Human Resources department to learn what the company policy is regarding giving and receiving gifts. Smaller companies may consider perishable gifts or gifts valued at twenty dollars or less for giving and receiving. Other companies poll their employees for gifting ideas to outside business partners, then vote on those ideas, ultimately sending out the winning gift to all vendor partners on their list. This method eliminates room for speculation on which partner may have received a gift valued higher than another’s gifts. The Ugly Some business owners loathe the commercial aspect of the holiday season and the unseasonable greed that comes along with it, and for good reason. I have dealt with vendor partners who have commented that their company must have performed poorly because they didn’t receive a gift for that fiscal year, and I was left to awkwardly explain that I was unaware gifts didn’t go out to our partners that year. Yikes. I have also happily dropped a frame rep from my personal gifting list because at our very first meeting, she rather gleefully announced to me that her and some other reps would joke about what a ‘dump’ our frame gallery was, but that it was looking so much better now. Wow. Bearing in mind that when gifting business partners, it shouldn’t be seen as an opportunity for self-promotion.  When you choose to gift business partners, keep it simple, within compliance, and gift because you want to. When you receive a gift, there’s nothing classier than a handwritten thank you note posted via snail mail! Leave me a comment and tell me your holiday gifting methods in your company! Written by: Lisa Fromm, ABOC, NCLC

Greetings, and Happy Thanksgiving!  It’s such an honor and privilege to connect with each of you during this holiday season.  For many, this is a time of reflection, reviewing the progress made over the past year and eagerly envisioning the opportunities to be seized in the year ahead. As your newly appointed president, I challenged our board of directors to “imagine” the OWA in an inspired and reimagined way, thus setting the theme for the upcoming year.  Asking for elephant-sized dreams, thinking outside the box, and forming a mental image of an OWA that might not yet exist, has led to some lively and constructive conversations! At the same time, I realized I was challenging myself to stretch outside of ordinary boundaries.  As a Doctor of Optometry, I’m typically pragmatic, scheduled, and very goal-focused.  You may relate… I create “task lists” and delight in methodically crossing off items from my list.  Tapping into this exploratory mind space, I started wondering: What if I imagined my perfect day? How would that morph without a list to reference? Would I achieve just as much? Would I feel the same sense of accomplishment at the end of the day? I soon realized that imagining and crafting a mental picture is a very powerful exercise; one that calls upon creativity and curiosity.  I started discovering that through imagination, I could manifest the presence of more things and people that made me smile😊.  Rarely does schedule- adherence come with that fringe benefit!. List abandoned, I was taking more time to appreciate and recognize people, encounters, and activities that made me happy, sometimes joyful, usually spontaneous, and finally, grateful. As your OWA President, I am committed to serving the needs of our members, while honoring the OWA Mission:  To enhance and promote the leadership role of women in the optical industry through networking, education, and peer support.  I could not be more grateful for our current board of directors, who serve tirelessly with their limitless talents, giving of their time to support each other, and our members. Our objectives this upcoming year include: Visibility/Transparency, Measurable Growth, and Relevancy/Meet People Where They Are.  Through authentic conversations, receptivity to feedback, and a hearty appetite for considering new ways to connect, we are delighted to hear from all of you.  We welcome your great ideas, as they serve to fuel the direction of the organization. I am so appreciative for all the committee members who are dedicated and generously donate their time to help our efforts flourish and to serve more women in our industry.  Thank You. I’m energized by the new initiatives that are already underway.  Under Past-President Deb Bulken’s leadership, we held our first ever Town Hall on September 22, 2023.  We enjoyed sharing in a more visible way, what the OWA was about, and opportunities we offer. Our membership is rich with individuals from across geographies and generations, all connected through the eyecare industry that we love. When we assemble together (virtually or in person), it is clear that we have the capability to make an impact that is meaningful. I’m thankful for the OWA Unplugged 2023 inaugural retreat, which was spearheaded by the Connection & Enrichment committee, that allowed women from around the country to gather and unplug in-person.  Who would have imagined the overwhelming success and inspiration that derived from that weekend experience? We built lasting memories and exchanged stories, calling upon many of our favorite OWA activities (think Fireside Chat with a real fire), which reinforced the common bonds we share. I’m especially grateful for our new and existing members; your excitement and passion for the OWA is contagious, and we love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  As we continue to “meet you where you are”, in your personal journey, professional career, or when sharing in your life’s successes and struggles, our desire is that you can find a kindred spirit, or perhaps a mentor, coach, or sponsor within the Optical Women’s Association. I’m thankful for our many corporate sponsors.  Your evergreen support allows the OWA to continue offering meaningful programs, events, and connection points for our members.  Additionally, our Individual Contributors support the OWA and provide funding for our Leadership Scholarship Awards.  Thank You. So, as I “imagine gratitude”, I’m purposely focusing on things I perhaps have taken for granted in my life, big or small.  Practicing an ongoing appreciation for relationships—with sincerity, empathy, integrity, and humility—is a mindful priority.  My sincere and heartfelt message to all of you during this holiday season, is that you take the time to intentionally “imagine gratitude”—it may be  eye-opening. I love this quote by Kristin Armstrong, “When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.” Many thanks and hugs to all of you, and extending my hope that you each enjoy a wonderful holiday season! My best, Lorie

The Communications and Website Committee works hard to provide useful and relevant content for the OWA Connects Blog. A big part of our plan is listening to the industry and applying the feedback to our content strategy. We would greatly appreciate your input, please take a minute or two to complete this short and simple survey. The end of the form includes a field for additional feedback and an option to let us know if you’re interested in writing for the blog. Thank you in advance for your feedback, each and every reader survey submitted will be reviewed and used to plan out the OWA Connects Blog content for 2024!  Stay tuned for a post at the end of December that will include a summary of the survey results! Thank you so much for taking the time to help us improve the OWA Connects Blog, we look forward to continuing to bring you great content!

TRIGGER WARNING: Infant loss and pre-maturity Like many people, I’m a planner – authentically Type A. I typically developed a timeline for everything. So, what does one do when everything you have planned for literally falls apart? For some, it may look like losing out on a promotion that you have worked years to attain, while for others it may resemble having a marriage end that you thought would last forever. For some it was the global pandemic that put everything on hold and caused economic turmoil. For me, my world turned upside down when I found out I was having children. I have always wanted kids, so naturally my husband and I were over the moon when we were greeted with a positive pregnancy test and then ecstatic when just a few weeks later, we found out that we would actually be having twins! We made it through a rough first trimester, full of morning sickness and bed rest, and entered the second trimester with a new excitement, knowing we were having twin boys😊. We even picked out their names; Daniel Wayne to match four generations of a DWB monogram and Mitchell William after my mom and dad. I started ordering things to make their nursery the train-themed room that I had dreamed about forever. Then, we had our anatomy scan and what should have taken 45 minutes actually took 3 hours. When the sonographer took us to a tiny consultation room to meet with the doctor, I looked at my husband and instinctively told him that something was clearly wrong… I just knew it. The doctor came in and told us that unfortunately our sweet baby A (Mitchell) was not ok. He was going to be born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate and had some serious heart issues that would need to be addressed further by a cardiologist to determine the appropriate next steps. Swiftly, I had the sense of complete and utter devastation. I felt like I had failed. How could one baby be fine and the other one was not? What would our life look like now? How am I ever going to explain this to him? So many questions ran through my head.  This was on top of the grieving and sense of loss that my husband and I each experienced in reflection of the “perfect” plan that we had imagined. Our paths changed yet again, just a few weeks later, when an emergency room visit for extremely high blood pressure yielded the news that now, Baby A was no longer growing. At 26 weeks I was told by my doctor that I was at a high risk for either delivering a still-born baby or that I should prepare that he may not survive labor. I spent the rest of my pregnancy depressed, in and out of the hospital, at the doctor every other day for checks, and wondering if I would be taking my baby home to that train-themed nursery or sadly burying him. At 31 weeks, I went into unexpected pre-term labor and gave birth to two very tiny, but very alive baby boys. The doctors told me that by them arriving so early, Mitchell’s life was saved. He needed to be out of the womb so that he could grow and develop. He was small, but he was very much alive! We spent the next 72 days in the NICU, and my plans shifted again. Pre-maturity is not for the weak. There were many hiccups along the way, and I had to learn to step back and let others be in control, which is something that does not come naturally to me. By the time we left the NICU I took my “plan” and threw it out the window forever. My babies are now six months old and thriving. Mitchell has made it through two surgeries and has the sweetest “new” smile. Daniel is the most supportive brother and seeing them together is better than any plan I could have ever imagined. Sure, our life is pure chaos, and we still have a long road ahead, but I’m so grateful for my little family and I’m so proud of how far we have all come. I chose to share my story to show others that goodness can come from the hardest of times and that even when you think you are at your wits end, you will find the strength to keep going. So today, with whatever it is you may be going through, remember that you are amazing, incredible, and we all believe in you. My Tips For Handling The Loss Of Your Plan: Address your situation and allow yourself the time to process and grieve. You are allowed to recognize that this is not how things were “supposed to go.” You are allowed to mourn the things you missed. Lean into losing control. In many situations, we have to take a step back and realize that the situation is no longer in our hands. Whether that is putting it in the hands of a doctor like we did, a higher power, or even just with someone who is better suited to handling the situation, it isn’t easy, even if it is what is best at the time. Embrace your new strength. I’m a firm believer that sometimes things go so against our plan only to make us develop a strength we never knew we possessed. If you can make it through the hard times, you can make it through anything! Find a new inner circle. Identify people who are going through your same situation. They will be able to relate and offer valuable feedback that others in your life simply will not be able to, regardless of how close they are to you. Remember that everything happens for a reason. You may not be able to see it now, but someday even the most troublesome times will make sense. Written by Heather Bethel